When was the last time you cried?
A few weeks ago. It was a pretty liberating feeling, like pouring water out of an overflowing pitcher and creating much-needed empty space.
Do you have kids? If no, how many do you want?
I’ll have two step-kids soon and they’re lovely, but I have no desire to have any of my own.
If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself?
I don’t know. I suppose it would depend on what kind of person I was. I try to be a friend to myself, though I look forward to the possibility of being someone (or something?) else in my next life. I’m invested in the life I have while I’m here and try to make the most of it, but the prospect of starting over sounds like a refreshing adventure.
What’s the first thing you notice about people?
What their presence feels like.
Salty air and sunscreen.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
My struggle with fear, feeling on edge, and feeling overwhelmed by the impulse to plan for the next thing that may go awry.
What would you name your children?
I remember when I was a kid thinking that if I had a son I would name him either Sebastian or Milo. If I had a daughter, I wanted to name her Corina. Now I just give those names to characters. They’re my children.
Favorite memory from childhood?
I honestly don’t remember much of my childhood. Most of my memories come from photos or video tapes I’ve seen. But I do recall one moment when I was probably 13 or 14. I was curled up next to my grandmother on the couch in our living room when I found myself distinctly aware of the smell of her perfume and the sound of her laugh. It struck me in that moment that one day she wouldn’t be there and that I wanted to forever remember those things. It must have left an imprint because I still do.
3 things that upset you?
Cruelty. Irresponsibility and/or selfishness that hurts or burdens others. Clutter.
3 things that make you happy?
Loving-kindness. Nate. My cats.
How is your relationship with parents?
These days, my mom and I are very close. My dad and I keep things surface-level and short, but there is still love there.
What are your favorite quotes?
“To find yourself, think for yourself.” ― Socrates
“Long ago and far away I walked the forest, wide and deep. And when I reached the highest mountain; and when I swam the seven seas; and everywhere I turned; there was yearning. There was only yearning.” – Infinitus
“Any change, any loss, does not make us victims. Others can shake you, surprise you, disappoint you, but they can’t prevent you from acting, from taking the situation you’re presented with and moving on. No matter where you are in life, no matter what your situation, you can always do something. You always have a choice and the choice can be power.” – Blaine Lee
“The future is built with the present moment and how we take care of it. If you are fearful, the future will be fearful. If you are uncooperative, the future will be divisive. This is very important. The future is not something that will come to us; the future is built by us, by how we speak and what we do in the present moment.” – Phap Dung
“To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget.” — Arundhati Roy
“Your biggest fear will be the rescue of you.” – Incubus
What is the farthest you’ve been from home?
Do you consider yourself a good cook?
I can cook, but I don’t consider myself a very creative chef. I just find recipes and follow the instructions.
If money were no object what would you get for your next birthday?
I would buy a house that comfortably fits the family I’m joining.
If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Costa Rica or Florida. Florida will forever be home to me.
What’s your longest relationship so far?
The one I have with myself.